When You Could Really Use a Swig from a Hidden Flask

Let’s get one thing clear from the get-go – we’re the not the ones to support or encourage excessive drinking. With that said, there are times in life when a bit of booze is needed; even encouraged. Nothing too drastic, just a swig or two to take the edge off.

In those times, utilizing a cool hip flask is for the greater good of all who are involved. Because you’re not trying to escape – on the contrary. You’re trying to make the most of the painful situation you found yourself in. That’s admirable. Heroic even.

Not for nothing flasks were invented as portable containers for alcohol, and for a very good reason thrived for a couple of centuries almost unchanged. The only conclusion to be drawn is: people need flasks. Men need flasks, women need flasks. Flasks are good for people.

If we think about it logically, flasks keep you safe from excessive drinking. That’s the real genius thing about flasks – they keep your drinking under control. How? By being pretty small. The average flask size is 6oz to 8oz. A normal pour of wine in a bar or restaurant is 5oz, while a shot of liquor is 1.5oz. So unless you’re going overboard and carrying multiple flasks, you won’t get drunk buddy. You’re just going to be slightly sauced in a happy-go-lucky kind of way.

So here we go: 7 instances when you could really use a swig from a hidden flask.

When staff meeting runs beyond 40 minutes

No staff meeting should ever run this long. No question about that. The only person in the room who isn’t aware of this is your boss.

In church

If you’re already there – and you’re a person man for being there! – you can, might even should, compensate yourself for waking up this early on a Sunday.

Visiting your sober & somber in-laws

These are muddy waters that require extra care. Make the most of this and re-create a sense of camaraderie with your spouse by sneaking swigs together.

When you find yourself in an unwelcome sexual encounter

There is a school of thought that claims that one should embrace all sexual encounters. This swig isn’t for them. It’s for you, and you gonna need it.

A really expensive bar, and you’re the one paying

This is the most straightforward one, isn’t it? No ethical dilemma – just reach to your hidden flask, discreetly if you will, and charge your engine.

In an AA meeting

Okay, Okay, touchy subject but hey, if we can’t confront the big questions in life what are we left with? One might feel morally engulfed here, and rightly so, but each to his, or her flask.

Every time the name “Trump” is mentioned

If you’re looking for a way to get really smashed, here it is. Better buy a truck load of flasks for this, all types, from the classic pewter through a  leather-bound stainless steel to a current and cool titanium flask. You gonna need them all.